New Year message from the King

New Year Message from Monyet King
The Supreme Ruler of the Planet of the Monyets

Hi there folks. 2013 is going to be an interesting year. Then again, every year of my life has been interesting. So 2013 will be interesting but no more or no less interesting than other years [unless an asteroid strikes Earth and kills off all the dinosaurs. Yes, there are still dinosaurs left – I saw a few near the Parliament building the other day].

The 13^th general elections will be held this year. Do not worry about it too much. Your life won’t really change unless you are a politician and you lose your seat. For the most of you, life will go on as usual. No matter which party wins, your life will go on as it is now. You will not get richer or poorer. The country won’t go to the dogs. The country won’t go bankrupt. And the price of oil will NOT come down. You just have to remember that “politics is not everything, everything is not politics” [if you think that your life will drastically get better if either party wins, you must be stupid]. Do go and vote (for guidelines on how to vote, read this).

The cost of living will rise. It is not unusual. It happens all over the world. Complaints over the price of goods and services are common all over the world. Every single country I have visited, the locals have the same complaints - that prices of goods are high. Singaporeans, Australians, Indians, Nepalis, Bangladeshis, Thais, Italians, British, Dutch, Indonesians, Americans, Vietnamese, etc. – everyone has the same complaints. Singaporeans are the worst whiners. Learn to live with it. Learn how to manage your money.  Live within your means. [if you earn RM 2000 a month and buy a RM 2500 phone, it is not a cost of living issue. It simply means that you are living beyond your means].

Racial and religious rhetoric will continue in this country. You should not be surprised. From time to time over the year, political and religious “leaders” will dish out divisive shit – mainly aimed at securing their power base. Many so-called religious “leaders” are not really concerned about religion, God or after life - they are only interested in their power base. That’s why most of the time what they say is so divisive and hurtful. This is a common trait across all religions. Use your common sense and listen to your heart. [BTW, have you ever heard religious leaders speak about good governance, punctuality, honesty, love your neighbour, protect our animals or cherish human rights ? Very rarely. Most of the time it is don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t say this, don’t say that and don’t wear this and don’t wear that]. Stay away from religious freaks (read more here and here).

Good governance and eradicating corruption are very important things for our nation to move forward effectively. Please continuously speak up for good governance. At the same time, please practise what you preach. You cannot expect politicians to be trustworthy when you yourself bribe the policeman. You cannot expect politicians to be clean when you buy pirated DVDs. You cannot expect politicians to be honest when you cheat on your taxes. Remember that corruption is not only found in the government. Corruption is everywhere – private companies, NGOs, and even within families. If you want our nation to be free of corruption, every single person must do his/her part – starting with you and I. [I hope when you are reading this piece, there is no pirated software in your computer]. Read more here.

Speak well of your country. You shouldn’t hate your country. Some of you may hate the government but don’t get your country and the government mixed up. Be careful what you say and write. It is your moral duty to promote, protect and love your country. If you really hate your country, then move somewhere else [Somalia, Yemen, North Korea and Botswana are good choices].

  

I know it is sometimes quite easy to get caught up with so many shitty things that seen to happen every other day. Of course, the media like to sensationalize things - so it is understandable that you get depressed from time to time. I do too. When I get depressed I swing from tree to tree and stuff myself with bananas.

Jokes aside, screw the morons and just focus on what you can do and what is within your control. Like simply doing your job (whatever that job may be) as well as you can. Do your work honestly and with pride. Don’t complain that others are not doing their work. In 2013, do more than what you are asked to do. Attain high standards in your work. If all of us can do our own work honestly and effectively, that will actually do our nation a lot of good [remember: before you scream asking politicians to do their jobs properly, make sure you do yours honestly]

Remember that over the social media and internet, there are plenty of lies and half-truths circulating. Be careful of what you believe. There are many gullible Malaysians – don’t be one of them. If you share stuff without checking, you may be guilty of spreading lies. In 2013, I ask you to be cautious. Please check the facts before sharing stuff on Facebook or twitter or email. There are simply too many politically-motivated half-truths and doctored photos being posted on the social media.

Promote goodwill. [Screw the politicians. Simply ignore the stupid bigots]. You can help boost goodwill amongst Malaysians. Cultivating friendships among Malaysians is very patriotic – just do it. Go out of your way to promote goodwill and unity among Malaysians. Make it a point to meet your Facebook friends in person. Friends are very important in your life. Cherish them. In 2013, try to meet up with friends that you haven’t met for years. It is not very difficult – just target 5 long lost friends a year.

Love your family. Strong families are the bedrock of a strong nation. If there is no love at home, there is no love for the country. In 2013, make sure you spend lots of time with your parents, siblings, spouse and kids. Yes, I know work is important but family is more important. If you have children, you should know that they need a lot of your time. Give it to them [if you can't look after your family, don't bother looking after the country]

In 2013, STAY POSITIVE. Malaysia is a great country. [Yes we have stupid politicians, religious bigots, dumb citizens and many problems. But which country doesn’t?] Life in Malaysia is a lot better than that in many other countries. The grass always seems greener on the other side – but if you tend to your lawn, then you grass will also be very green [many people instead of tending to their own lawn, spend all their time whining about how green other people’s lawn is].

People – like you and I – make the country. And it is the little things, added together, which make a nation great. Things like everyone doing their jobs properly, being honest, not littering, driving and parking properly, being punctual, and looking after their families and friends. So folks, before we scream asking others to do their bit, let us all try doing our part first.

Monyet King wishes all of you a fantastic year ahead. Selamat Tahun Baru 2013.

And a big thank you for visiting the Planet of the Monyets

Kalau gatal, garu saje