Saturday, August 6, 2011

Not again ! JAAIS raids another facility at Sepilok

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Not again ! JAAIS raids another facility at Sepilok
Latthalilat Thamplom, Monyet News Network, 5 August 2011


Sepilok, 5 August. The quiet town of Sepilok in Sabah today was shocked by a massive raid conducted by Joint Animal Atrocities Investigation Society (JAAIS) at the Sepilok Orang Utan Rehabilitation Centre this morning. Witnesses reported that a team of at least 100 JAAIS officials and local police accompanied by 5 male proboscis monkeys raided the primate conservation centre at about 10 in the morning, coinciding with the orang utan feeding time.

The Director of the Sepilok Orang Utan Rehabilitation Centre, Dr Agus Salim Moguring, expressed his shock and disappointment at the raid. “We are a conservation organization, committed to rehabilitating orang utans and returning them to the wild. All we were doing at that time was feeding the orang utans and long-tailed macaques with bananas when suddenly this large group of people claiming to be from JAAIS rushed in. They took away all the bananas, harassed our staff members and took photographs of the enclosures. They were loud and rude. They never told us why they were there”, said Dr Moguring.

Dr Salihin Gungat, a researcher working with the long-tailed macaques at the centre, told Monyet News Network “we are all very upset. These JAAIS fellows are morons with their heads stuck up their asses. What harm did our orang utans do ? What wrong did the macaques do ? Tell us. They are being victimised simply because they are different. This is not acceptable in multi-species society. Orang utans and macaques are also God’s creatures”.

In a press statement released by the JAAIS later in the afternoon, the department’s director Tn. Hj.  Hassan Ibrahim Ali claimed that they received a complaint from a group of proboscis monkey in Kinabatangan that the orang utans were plotting to take over the Kinabatangan Wildlife Sanctuary. “We cannot simply sit and wait. The proboscis monkeys lodged a complaint so we had to act before the situation got out of hand. The Orang Utans are evil, you know and we cannot allow them to control the Wildlife Sanctuary”


The proboscis monkey which lodged a complaint with JAAIS - accusing the orang utans of plotting to take over the Kinabatangan wildlife sanctuary
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Hassan added “during the raid, we found evidence of the impending Orang Utan’s attack on the proboscis monkeys. Our enforcement team found stacks of banana peel and over 50 kg of Orang Utan poo which we believe will be used as weapons. So we confiscated all the peels and poo and took them back to our office. Our team also overhead the orang utans saying “ee ooook ouu, eeeeek” which I think means “we are going to f#*k you” – which was alarming. I think our raid was justified.”

Hassan also informed MNN that JAAIS is planning to conduct more unannounced raids at other orang utan sites in Sabah, Sarawak and Selangor. “It is our moral duty to protect all the other monkeys from the orang utans”, quipped Hassan before driving away to his next raid.

The Proboscis Monkey Society declined to talk to MNN’s correspondents.


Other related news
SOBKL has announced that its Phase 3 expansion plan has been approved by the Government. The expansion, estimated to cost RM 780 million, will be funded through the issuance of Bank Negara bonds. The management of SOBKL has agreed to allocate 75 places to JAAIS.




Monyet News Network
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9 comments:

johnnie lim said...

ha ha. thanks for the laugh monyet king

CK said...

another super gem from the Monyet King... LMAO

Cat-from-Sydney said...

Among monyets oso got supremacists ka? purrrrr *giggles*

Monyet King said...

Cat
I think there are supremacists in all species. (except the dung bettle, I guess)

Vet king said...

Dear MK

I am very disappointed that you are capable of publishing such defamatory news on humans. My owm reporting staff gave a completely different version of what actually happened. Your distortion of the whole story makes a mockery of the intelligence of thinking monyets i.e. those with bigger heads and brains.

What did happen was there was a raid by orang utans (OT) on humans who were saying grace before a feast. They were thanking the lord of the jungle for providing them with such a bountiful harvest. The OTs, animals with big bodies and small heads, of course eyed the splendid foods and wanted it for themselves. Thus the raid.

This is what happened and not what you reported. These animals should be treated and punished as incorrigible wild animals, not as some reasonable human.

Euthanasia sounds good to me.

BTW that foto of the probosis monyet has its penis and presumably its asshole at the wrong end. Are you sure his fart wasn't mistaken for the complaint ?!

Antares said...

Your Royal Highness, this is exactly what I was looking for to fill the weekend slot on my blog. It got me whooping with rage. Kindly allow me the liberty of extending its mileage!

Monyet King said...

1. Vet King
Sorry for the inaccurate reporting. Will try to speak to the proboscis monkeys first before writing. :)

2. Antares
THks. You are welcome.

pedalling jaya said...

May the Lord of the Rainforest bless you Monyet King - i had a jaw-aching laugh - so happy i discovered your blog. I would love to share this with all my FB friends (But being a less evolved almost primate, i think i'm only at bushy tailed tree shrew stage, i dunno how to share on FB yet. Pls advise)

Monyet King said...

Pedalling Jaya
TQ. It is quite easy. Just copy the URL and paste it on your FB status.